Smiley: You don’t need a weatherman …

Smiley: You don't need a weatherman ...
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Dear Smiley: Since retiring to north Georgia, we’ve learned a lot of the local folklore related to the severity of winter and the possibility of snow.

The number of fogs in August; when the crocuses begin to bloom, and the width and color of a band on the back of a certain caterpillar are just a few of the indicators locals use.

During a discussion about the weather after church, one of our veterans (he’s 96) pointed out that we sometimes get snow in April up here.

Shocked, I asked, “When?”

He thought for a minute, then replied, “I believe the last time was 1949!”

I’ll let you know if we get snow in April; or March, for that matter! Stay warm!


Blairsville, Georgia

Dispatch from the front

Dear Smiley: All participants are in excess of 70 or have passed on, so the story of the BB gun shootout in 1969 at the TG&Y in Mandeville can now be told:

My brother worked there after school and on weekends as part of a school program. He recruited other students to make a few bucks at the annual one-night cleaning and waxing of the floors.

About 10 of us arrived. But before work started, the BB rifles and pistols sold by TG & Y were borrowed and loaded for a no-rules BB gun battle. It was the manager’s idea. While he was an adult, he was no more mature than us, and substantially crazier.

I spent most of the battle in the rug section, prone and firing from a hidden spot. The action paused when Cy started screaming after a shot lodged in an ear lobe, but resumed once the BB was removed.

The manager assumed a position in the attic storeroom. After removing a ceiling tile, he was in prime position to fire down. However, he was located above the aquarium. The battle ended when a stray shot put a hole in the glass and water began pouring out on the floor.

That’s when I learned work could be fun!



Tall tale

Dear Smiley: Here’s another wonderful memory from my teaching days at Mandeville High.

The Potsdam Guards was a Prussian regiment of men over 6-foot-7. One of my students got confused and called them the “Postpartum” Guards.

I could have used some of those when my babies were born.



Tube talk

Dear Smiley: Years ago, a neighbor told me she went to her ear, nose, and throat specialist in Baton Rouge and was diagnosed with a severe infection in her fallopian tube!

I immediately thought to myself, “What a powerful otoscope that must have been!”

(It should have been Eustachian tube.)



Malady malapropism

Dear Smiley: Someone recently sent you a message about her delight in the misuse of words.

As a former cancer patient and, happily, survivor, I was always amused when Andy Sipowitz on “NYPD Blue” talked about his “prostrate cancer.”



Nostalgia Corner

Dear Smiley: I was about 10 when I received a Benjamin pump pellet rifle; it still works after 63 years. I had a lot of fun with it.

No, I won’t divulge any stories, and my 36-year-old son doesn’t know where it is.

Also, a couple of readers mentioned The Brunswick in downtown Baton Rouge, which had a great hamburger.

Also snuck upstairs to play pool and watch the gentlemen have a “friendly game.”


Jacksonville Beach, Florida

Name that fly

Dear Smiley: In your column recently a reader was talking about “cane flies.” I have never heard them called “cane flies,” but “crane flies.”

Typo or malapropism? You decide.


Baton Rouge

Dear Louise: Neither; it was a simple case of me “correcting” the reader, thinking “cane flies” was correct. But I like to think of it as a computer malfunction: a screw loose in the operator.


About Mary Weyand 11873 Articles
Mary founded Scoop Tour with an aim to bring relevant and unaltered news to the general public with a specific view point for each story catered by the team. She is a proficient journalist who holds a reputable portfolio with proficiency in content analysis and research. With ample knowledge about the Automobile industry, she also contributes her knowledge for the Automobile section of the website.

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