You might be from Louisiana if mention of seafood launches a thousand stories about your dining experiences:
Kathy Gibbs, of Mandeville, responds to Preston Holton’s Monday comment about the “uneven work/reward ratio” involved in picking boiled crabs:
“My husband, Nick, always says (as he picks and devours numerous blue crabs) that they are ‘negative calories,’ i.e., you expend more calories picking than you take in eating. So it’s a win-win!”
Crunchy crab
Kathy Gibbs adds: “Also on the subject of eating crabs; during one of his first visits here we took our son-in-law from Arizona to a seafood restaurant.
“He ordered a seafood platter, which included a deviled crab served in a half-shell.
“He ate everything else on the plate but the crab. He finally held it up by the pointy parts, twirled it a little, and asked, ‘Do you eat this like corn on the cob?’
“Hubby Nick paused, wanting so badly to say yes and watch him bite into it, but let his better angel win, smiled and said, ‘No,’ and explained how to eat it.
“Maintaining good relations beats a brief moment of hilarity at another’s expense.”
Filé file revisited
Bill Huey, of Baton Rouge, answers Kevin Reed’s Monday question about the search for a crucial gumbo ingredient in Michigan, and finding a very old bottle in a store:
“Filé has no ‘use by’ date. I recently discarded a bottle that must have been 30 years old. I’ll bet there are jars out there that are nearly a century old.”
Missing mayo
A food culture shock tale from Lane Casteix, of Jefferson:
“In 1969 I was in the Air Force, and reported to my first duty station at George Air Force Base, Victorville, California.
“To my wife’s dismay, she discovered the base commissary didn’t stock Blue Plate mayonnaise. That was the first of many ‘dietary adjustments’ we had to make.”
Dig this
Charlie Anderson, of Shreveport, says, “They did a geological survey of St. Bernard Parish and discovered a new mineral: ‘Yehyourite.'”
Special People Dept.
— Mary Jane Carlock, of Baton Rouge, celebrates her 97th birthday Tuesday, May 23.
—Louis and Julie Hoffer, of Denham Springs, celebrate their 53rd anniversary Tuesday, May 23.
Aging process
Stories about senior citizens and health care:
— Earl Newman, of Baton Rouge, says, “I’m at that age where my calendar is filled with doctors’ appointments.
“Since I golf on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, and bowl on Tuesday and Thursday, my friends are quite inquisitive as to the latest appointment.
“This is not because they’re worried about my health; simply because they’ve grown accustomed to receiving money from me on a regular basis from our ‘friendly’ little bets (if the IRS is reading this I can supply a list of names) and become agitated when I’m not there.
“I told them that my latest is ‘Cadillac’ surgery. It’s really ‘cataract’ surgery, but I call it the former because the doctor needs to make a car payment!”
— Bill Bozzelle, of Baton Rouge, says, “With all the emphasis on health care nowadays, doctors (or rather their nurses) are required to go through a checklist of questions before the visit.
“One of the first questions is: ‘Are you in pain today?’
“Now, Smiley, you and I both know the answer to that question is when a person reaches our age — EVERYTHING hurts.
“I proceeded to list ALL my areas of pain. The nurse stopped writing after I reached about 20…
“In the immortal words of Jimmy Buffett, who was hospitalized last week, ‘Growing old ain’t for sissies.'”
(He also wrote a song, “He Went to Paris,” that ends with an 86-year-old fisherman telling him: “Jimmy, some of it’s magic, some of it’s tragic, but I’ve had a good life all of the way.”)
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